According to my husband, I'm trying a little too hard to get pregnant this month...hmm.  I asked him if I should stop temping, charting, using OPK's, etc and he said no, but now I feel like I have to "hide" when I'm entering all the info because he doesn't quite "get" why I need to do it when we, obviously, didn't have any issues getting pregnant the first two times. (uff, sorry about the run-on sentence there)

Anyways, I kind of have to agree with him, but my problem is that I hate the "unknown."  I detest surprises, unless they're the really, really good ones.  If you ever throw me a surprise birthday party, I might curse at you - just saying! :P

Anyways, there's another problem that comes from doing all these things plus reading and getting to know all about my body.  I'm getting frustrated that my body isn't doing what I want it to or what a "normal" cycle would be doing. Today is CD 15 for me and well I haven't picked up a BFP on the OPK's yet and it's bumming me out!  On top of that, I'm temping and I haven't seen any kind of temp surge indicating ovulation yet.  :(

I also read that you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant every cycle - wow, that bummed me out too!  I think I'm going to try to stay away from letting my mind get the best of me and just enjoy TTC for the first time ever.  :)

OPK's

YAY!  AF was officially gone on Sunday - let's get this TTC train going!

I bought a box of OPK's at Target, their Up & Up brand to be exact, to try out our first month of TTC.  Obviously, I never used OPK's with my 2 previous pregnancies - they were both complete surprises.  The problem I'm facing with them though, is that my cycles have been much longer while I had my IUD than the norm of 28 days.  So, I'm having trouble deciphering when I should start POAS (peeing on a stick)... I only bought the 7 day test kit (there are 30 day kits out there).  The little phamplet inside tells me, per my average cycle length (35 days), I should start testing on CD (cycle day) 18.  For the average cycle length (of 28 days) it says to start on CD 11.  Want to guess when I started POAS?!  Yep, today, CD 11...I'm guessing I'll probably end up buying another box of the things to test for 2 weeks...gosh I sure hope I O (ovulate) in the next 7 days!  Then comes the dreaded TWW (two week wait) post O before I can POAS for a BFP!

Tired of the acronyms yet?  I know, there's a lot - hopefully soon I'll throw a little glossary to the right...

Wooo!!

AF (aunt flow...aka my period) came today!!  :)

I wasn't sure when to expect AF, so the fact that she showed  up only a couple days after I suspected is glorious!  My cycles had been quite a bit longer after I got the ParaGuard and this cycle was actually around 39 days!

This means we can officially get this TTC baby train moving!!  I'm so excited - if we get lucky our first month we'll have ourselves a late May baby!  I'm really trying not to get ahead of myself in thinking we'll get lucky the first month, but I sure can have hope!

Opinions

"You don't have to agree with my choices, but as my friends you do need to respect them."
-Leigh Ann (Sandra Bullock) from The Blind Side 

 

Kind of a continuation on this last post I wrote. 

 

My friends and I all have varying opinions (some are much stronger in certain areas than others - definitely not a new phenomena), but we all usually respect those opinions and our friendships aren't  hindered by them.  Unfortunately though, there are times I wonder if our decision to have another baby is a choice that some disagree with to a degree where it may actually affect our friendship.  I have all hope it won't, but "Leigh Ann's" words above definitely are the mantra I'll be repeating!

 

On a side note: I'm sure you remember this post.  With Grandma coming I decided to just flip over my TCOYF book because she probably wouldn't be going in our bedroom (all the HPT's and OPK's were put away in a drawer).  Well, go figure, she needed to go in our room to get the key off of our modem to use her laptop.  I have no doubt she picked up the book in curiosity to see what I was reading.  Hopefully she didn't "read" into the title of the book too much - maybe she just thinks I'm trying to get to know my body better and leave it at that! lol  For all she knows, I still have an IUD!

Reminders

Some days I sit wondering how I'm going to respond to those closest to us when we do tell them our news.  I'm not worried about our decision to add another member to our family, but unfortunately, a person is still affected by the words that come out of their family and friends.  Yes, we have a small house (smaller than most people's apartment), bills that always need to be paid, busy schedules, etc.  None of that really matters though because we have home filled with love.  We know through faith we will be provided for and our needs will be met.  Therefore, our hearts yearn for another blessing and we know we'll be just fine - we're happy and the rest all works itself out (it has this far)!

Today, I was reading a post from a young lady named Katie, who lives in Uganda and has adopted 14 girls!  God works in mysterious ways and through Katie's post, I was given the reminder I needed...

She wrote about Genesis 33 where Esau approaches Jacob about the many children following behind him.  Esau asks Jacob, "and who are these with you?"  Jacobs reply: "These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with."  She was referring to adoption in her case, but I also felt it applied to the feelings associated with opinions on how many children one family should have.

If the Lord sees it fit to bless us with a third miracle - we will most graciously accept it!  I'm more ready now, for the questions "why more when you had one of each already?  how are you going to fit more in your house? what about this? what about that?" etc
    "These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless us with!"

As I'm finishing up and glancing over the comments of the post, I see this verse...

"...with God all things are possible."  Matthew 16:26

Yes, yes they are!  We are ready for whatever He has in store for us next!

Grandma's Coming

Grandma's coming to watch our children tomorrow, so the hubs and I can have a date night.  It's been awhile - so we're going to go enjoy a meal and a movie without two tornadoes!  BUUUUUT, this means that all the paraphernalia of TTC needs to be hidden.  TCOYF (Taking Charge of Your Fertility) needs to be pulled off my nightstand....the OPK's (ovulation predictor kits) and HPT's (home pregnancy tests) need to be pulled out from under the bathroom sink (my luck she would go looking for something and see them) and I better make sure the PNV's are not sitting on the counter!

We've decided to keep our TTC journey a surprise from our family until we get our BFP (big fat positive) and are a little ways along in the pregnancy.  It feels kind of deceitful, I've always been pretty honest with my mom, but then it's really nice taking this journey with husband (and of course my lovely readers of this blog).

Sucked into the vortex...

...of maternity clothes!  Ahhh!! 

My friend, who is 28 weeks pregnant or so, is trying to put together outfits for her upcoming family photo shoot.  So, I'm poking around clothing websites looking at maternity clothes for her and I then I get sucked in and start looking for myself!!  Oops!

I found this suuuuuper cute top...I want it, but considering the 18 gallon tote plus some of maternity clothes I already own, I don't technically need it.

How could I possibly convince my husband I need this already? lol

Prenatal Vitamins

I've been researching the crap (because that's what I do) out of prenatal vitamins (PNV) the last few days.  I really wanted something with DHA and if I was going to take some kind of fish oil, it needs to be pharmaceutical grade.  I run into problems with my acid reflux when I've got to pop more than a couple pills together and any kind of DHA is a HUGE pill, so my goal was to find a PNV with DHA all-in-one pill.  So, I found this stuff called PreNexa - looked good, had lots of folic acid in it, iron, a stool softener (always a benefit to counteract the iron), and other good stuff.  Every review I found on it said they really like it, didn't feel like it increased their morning sickness, and it didn't give them any kind of "fish" burps from the DHA...sounded good to me!

So, I go into my OB appointment (for my annual exam and to have my IUD removed) earlier this week and ask for a RX and some samples if they have some.  Well, the clinic I go to does not do any kind of samples - they did away with the process. Boo!:(  Because there are probably 30 different kind of PNV's with DHA, my doctor just wrote me out a general script.

Yesterday, I decided to go get it filled.  Thinking that this was a common vitamin, I wouldn't have a problem going to my regular pharmacy, Target, to get it.  After fighting my daughter while I was trying to talk to the pharmacist, I find they have not a single RX PNV with DHA - it would have to be special ordered.  Not yet feeling defeated, I took back the RX and called up the pharmacy across the street - they didn't have it either.  One last ditch effort, thinking I was probably just going to have to have it ordered, I called up Wal-greens across town.  They had a PNV with DHA - not PreNexa, but really close to it.

I make Walgreen's my next stop - I walk back to the pharmacy and after waiting for the couple in front of me to decide whether or not they should pick up their prescription, I'm greeted by a little Asian man with a cowlick like Alfalfa in the back.  He's got his handy little white pharmacy intern coat on - oh boy, I was pumped to talk to him (note the sarcasm)!  He greats me with his slurred American and I hand him the prescription.  I tell him I want a 90 day supply because it's cheaper through my insurance and he informs me that they can't fill it because it's wrote for 60, BUT it has refills for a year (makes a LOT of sense).  After a frustrating conversation on why he should be just fine to fill it for 90 because after all, it's not some kind of narcotic, it's a prenatal vitamin for pete sake - he gives me this blank look like he doesn't know what to do with the RX now.  I give him my best, you're.a.frickin.moron. look and say "you can fill it now!"  Then I get the, it'll be about 20 minutes!  Yeah, this made me more happy, all they have to do is a slap a label on a bottle - the vitamins are pre-packaged for 30 day supplies!

It still took them about 15 minutes to get the label on the bottle and after he calls me up, fiddles with the computer for a good 5 minutes, then he goes in his best Asian/English dialect (think calling the Chinese restaurant speak) "how far away are you?"  With a confused look on my face, I reply "excuse me?"  He repeats himself and I give him, what I'm sure was completely a sincere look and say "do you mean, how many weeks pregnant am I?"  "Yes, yes!" he replies.  "I'm not" I say.  "What are you using for?" he asks, like it's his business or something. "We're trying to conceive." I say, trying to end this, so I can pay and leave.  "Do you take any folic acid?" he asks which has me puzzled "The RX I'm picking up should have plenty in it, does it not?"  He grabs the phamplet stapled to the bag and starts going through it "I can't seem to find out how much it has" and I reach over, grab the bag, pull a bottle out and proceed to peel back the label and show him that each pill as 1 mg of folic acid, plenty for someone TTC (trying to conceive), pregnant or otherwise. "oh, that's plenty, you only need 400 mcg of folic acid" he replies like I'm some kind of person who has no clue, but yet was the one to show him how much it had.

After finally being able to pay, I left in a hurry.  I won't be going back there at all - regardless that the guy didn't know I had a pharmacy background (worked as a tech for a couple years), there was no reason for the poor customer service and really, what kind of business is it to him why I was getting prenatal vitamins?!  Good thing I have enough to get me through the next 60 days, then maybe I'll tackle the mail-order prescription company we have through my insurance!

A little personal background to help...

I'm a Midwestern girl in my late-twenties who enjoys baking, cooking, scrap booking, photography, reading, playing in the dirt, camping, and more than anything, watching my children grow.  My husband and I have been together close to 10 years - we have our moments, but love is definitely abundant.  We have two beautiful children - a busy preschooler and a diva toddler.  I lovingly refer to them as my "tiny tornadoes" (TT) as they can destroy a room in under 30 seconds!  We're currently starting our journey to conceive TT #3 and couldn't be more excited.

Introduction of sorts...

I left this blog more private than the others I write on by not letting it be visible on my blogger profile.  I've really wanted a place to write uncensored thoughts and there just isn't time to keep them in a handwritten diary anymore.  Unfortunately with a "family" blog, shared publicly with family and friends, I've had to learn to selectively post my thoughts to keep from hurting anyone's feelings or having people know a little more than they would like.  This leads me to the creation of "the little things."  I've wanted a blogiary (blog-diary) for quite some time, but didn't feel like I wanted the whole world to know who I was in it.  I've found that it's also way too easy to forget all those little things without writing them down.  So, here I am, a somewhat nameless blogger writing out my thoughts as I go through this journey known as life.  If you know me personally, please respect my wish for anonymity.  Words of encouragement and opinions are still more than welcome!

Disclaimer:  I will be talking about things that involve trying to conceive, pregnancy, motherhood, wife-hood, basically things that I probably would never candidly bring up in front of any member of clergy.  Remember what I said above, I want a place where I don't have to censor my thoughts as they come out through my fingers on the keyboard!  If you're easily grossed out, offended, or otherwise, please don't read this blog.  Don't say I didn't warn you!