Soy Isoflavones Success Story!

Whoa!  I am a dysfunctional mess today!  I can't keep my mind in one spot (so I apologize if this post is all.over.the.place.) 

I'm guessing maybe you've figured it out by now....

If not...

It goes a little like this...

Ready?

I got a BFP!!!!

Oh my goodness, I can hardly contain my excitement!!  It's taking all I have not to shout it from the roof tops and pee on 20 tests just to keep seeing 2 lines!  When I POAS this morning, it really didn't show anything right away so I just hopped in the shower figuring it was another BFN.  When I got out, I stood there inspecting it like I had a microscope.  As I'm tipping it back and forth and closer to the light, I definitely see the faintest of lines and then my brain registers - THERE.IS.A.LINE!!!!  Anyone who has been TTC knows, a First Response pregnancy test is as accurate as it's probably going get without going for a blood draw - a LINE IS A LINE!  Ahhhh!!

I was totally going to come up with some kind of creative way to tell DH, but I'm kind of like a 4-year-old at Christmas and couldn't keep it to myself!  As I'm sitting there, trying to be cute and talk to him, he goes "you already told me."  I was completely confused as I hadn't said anything yet, thinking to myself - "I'm only 10 DPO, how could I have already told you?!"  He then informed me that I had said something to him the other day about a baby in my belly and he assumed I was serious (way to get excited honey! lol).  Hmmm...guess my "women's intuition" is stronger than I realize!  And really, DH is excited - he's kind of one of those silent types! :)

We're going to keep things a secret for a few more days - I do plan on doing something fun to tell our parents.  Don't worry - I'm sure I'll share! :)

I made my first appointment already because I was that excited.  Unfortunately, my OB's first available appointment wasn't until January 19th.  I'll be around 10 weeks by then and will at least get to see something that resembles a baby on the ultrasound AND a heartbeat. :) With all my charting, I'm figuring my estimated due date should be pretty accurate, but we'll see what my OB says when I see him.  Already looking forward to August 2011 and thanking the Lord that we were blessed after only a little over 3 months TTC.

THANK YOU to all whom have supported me during this part of my journey!  To those still waiting for their miracle - sending lots of prayers your way!

Well THAT was new...

DH and I are pretty good at limiting BD'ing to when the TT's are asleep.  In fact, I'm pretty sure we've never BD'd while they were awake in the same house, until recently...

I guess when the TTC bug hits you and O is near, you'll find any way to BD!  Thanks to a lock on the bathroom door the mission to have a good BD schedule was accomplished this cycle!  More than that, we threw a little spice into TTC with the spontaneity! :)

CD 25 and the TWW is commencing!

Can we get a “whoop, whoop” for soy isoflavones?!  It could just be coincidence, but I got a +OPK today on CD 22!  Wooooo!!!  This is the earliest I’ve O’d since we started TTC and is exceptionally sooner than CD 30 like last cycle!  So, with that I’m going to say YAY for soy isoflavones!  Now my temperature better go up, up, up to confirm O (with a beautiful BFP at the end of the rainbow)!

My poor husband, I don’t think he saw it coming this morning.  I got a +OPK this morning and was determined we had to BD because I wasn’t sure if we would be able to otherwise until tomorrow with our schedules, BUT the TT’s have been up exceptionally early lately and we had a guest spending the night.  Luckily all 3 were sound asleep after I got out of my shower and discovered the positive test on the counter.  I sure as heck am NOT going to miss my window this cycle!!  I’m pretty proud that I didn’t just go pounce on DH and say “we have a baby to make, NOW darnnit.”  Instead, I tried to hurry him with as much romance as possible! ::wink wink::  The poor guy works nights and I was sound asleep when I started pleeding...lol, maybe there's something enticing about your wife begging!  Someone was on our sides though, the TT’s (and our guest) slept in this morning well after we got our BD on.  :)

One BD session down and a few more days to go!  I hope DH is ready!

Thankfully Thanksgiving is here next week and all the hustle and bustle of that will hopefully keep my mind off of the TWW.  Reaaaaaalllly hoping we have some fun news to share at Christmas!  I’ve already got lots of ideas, but I’m trying not to “put the cart before the horse.”

Watch out cycle #3!

AF is almost out the door and so I'm lining up my arsenal! 

Here's what I'm doing this cycle:
PNV
DHA
Calcium
200 mg Isoflavones on CD 3-7
200 mg guaifenesin three times per day CD 15 through +OPK
OPK's
BBT

I'm really hoping the isoflavones will move up ovulation - waiting to O last cycle felt like an eternity!  I have already felt some twinges by my ovaries that I don't normally feel (thinking positive).  The guaifenesin is to help thin out my CM - I haven't noticed a whole lot of it and I used to notice a LOT when I still had my IUD in.

I don't have much for words tonight...utter disappointment is about the only thing I'm feeling.  As I'm sure you can guess, AF decided to show up.  Completely unexpected when I went to the bathroom and realized she showed.  Although my intuition was that she was on her way, I wasn't expecting it to be today.  This scares me a bit because it means my LP is probably too short -- meaning, I have some fertility issues.  Back to the drawing board for cycle #3.  Once I get over the shock, I'll be researching like crazy and figuring out my arsenal.

digression from optimism

Today, I feel entirely sure that there is no life inside of me and there is impending doom (AF) at my door.  ugh.  It's going to be a craptastic weekend if AF shows!

CD 40 - 11 DPO and I have no patience left!

bugger...

Having horrible cramps tonight down in my hoo-haa and lower abdomen....pretty sure AF is on her way! :(  The nausea is still hanging around making itself comfy too.  Seriously?!  I'm so NOT a fan of all this, UNLESS of course it means there's a bun in this oven!

9 DPO - I think women who get BFP's at 9 DPO are full of it!

8 DPO - another day closer to insanity

Not only am I still naseaus, but when I got up quick tonight, I had pulling in the bottom of my abdomen that hurt.  And because I like riding the crazy train, I POAS today - obviously, it was a BFN.  I still don't know how I feel about this cycle....

A strong part of me says that it didn't happen - that side of me is the reason I picked up some soy isoflavones (they apparently work similar to the prescription medication clomid) at the store the other day.  Then the really hopeful, optimistic side of me is saying we had perfect timing - we just have to be pregnant this cycle.  That side of me is also consistently thinking of all the fun baby planning - including how to tell our family and friends when the time comes.  Anyone have some good ideas?

CD 38 - if my temp doesn't go up tomorrow, I pretty sure we're out for this month!

Naseau

It blows (not quite literally)!  Although I'm starting to wonder if I pulled a bulimic move if I would feel better...

I have acid reflux on a normal day, so  feeling queasy isn't new to me, but in the last few days (and cycles) I've had these bouts of it I would rather do without.  Today, it's a little more than I can stand.  I never had morning sickness with my other pregnancies until I was around 6-8 weeks along - therefore, it's highly unlikely that's what's causing my problem.  A girl can hope though...

My chart is looking fantastic post-O, but I'm staying pretty pessimistic. :(  It does seem like we had great timing and I know the amount of BD'ing we got in in a 24-hour period during O, is far more than we've experienced post-TT's in a LONG while! :)  So much so that we haven't since - I'm still feeling the repercussions!  uff!

CD 36 today...the TWW (and long cycles) can just bite me!

My temp finally went up today...it doesn't necessarily tell me anything though.  We'll just have to wait and see what the next few days bring.

There will be time for BD'ing this weekend at least (in hopes that maybe I haven't O'd yet).  My husband and I are off to the metro area tomorrow to stay overnight and then we're going to a NFL game on Sunday.  It's my first game and I'm not really a football girl, but spending some alone time with just my husband during this chaotic time is all I care about!

It's CD 28 - most "normal" women are getting AF or a BFP today.  As for me, I haven't even O'd yet.

Emotional Rollarcoaster

I feel like I'm on a wild ride that won't slow down.  Beyond the crazy ups and downs that come with TTC - our family schedule has been well above chaotic!

Here I sit, CD 25 and I've yet to detect O with a +OPK.  My FF chart sure isn't giving me any clear idea either - my temps are all over the place.  I hope maybe I just missed the surge with the OPK's, but on the other hand I worry I'm not O'ing at all.  And I think we all know what that means - no O = empty uterus.  :(

My CM hasn't given me any clues either...today it's creamy (more CM than I've detected all cycle at least) - whatever that means.  lol

I did check my cervix over the weekend and I swore it felt pretty high and soft - giving me a little more hope that I just missed "seeing" it on the OPK's (although I don't how that would be, I've been POAS twice a day for the last week not wanting to miss it).

The icing on the cake...I've had this awful queasy feeling for the last two days.  Kind of a cross between a nauseous and nervous tummy.  Stress could totally be the factor with this, but my mind is still going with the little game of "could" it mean?

Oh and as excited as I am for a dear friend who had her sweet boy on 10.10.10 - seeing him definitely made my uterus scream more for a baby!

Easily Excited

Apparently TTC makes you go wacko in the head!  That or just easily excitable - like the little dog who piddles when a friend comes to the door!  lol

My first bit of excitement is over a package of OPK's and HPT's on their way to my door!  I decided to order my tests for this month online - saving a significant amount over what I shelled out on 3 packages of 7 day OPKs last month.  I got them over at www.early-pregnancy-tests.com upon the recommendation of other TTC'ers on WTE.  They're the basic dip stick tests that your doctors office would use.  I have 4 digital OPK's left from last month I figure I can use for confirmation if there's any doubt.  I also have 2 "top shelf" brand HPT's ready to for confirmation.  PRAYING hard that there won't be any use for any of these tests after this month!!

Adding the excitement is my beautiful chart over on FF (if you click the ticker on the bottom of this blog, you can see it) - my pattern of temps is mimicking last month, which I'm hoping will lead to more precise timing of the BD'ing!! hee hee

To top it off, AF has pre-IUD like in flow (muuuuuuch lighter) and is wrapping things up and heading out the door!!  My husband better watch out - he's going to be reminded of what it was like prior to having the TT's!! ;)

Worry...

....it's a horrible feeling.

Life has been pretty overwhelming lately.  DH is working a crazy schedule that seems to change every time I blink.  Our days pretty much blur together.  When I'm working, he's sleeping and taking care of the kids - when he's working I'm taking care of the kids and sleeping.

Crazy every day life equals worry we won't be able to BD on the "right" days to conceive.

I trust Him to give us what our heart desires,  I just need to stop thinking about it so much and try to allow the story that has already been determined unfold in front of me.

::sigh::

When intuition turns into reality...

My chart has been pretty text book (at least at seeing when I ovulated and such), so when I saw my temps start to drop in the last few days, I knew (instead of thought?) AF was on her way.  Well, I temped this morning and saw the significant drop in temp and knew.  It was completely confirmed when I went to the bathroom for the first time and discovered  that, indeed AF had made her ugly appearance.

My intuition has been telling me I was not pregnant for quite some time - I just had a feeling this would not be our month.  BUT that doesn't mean all the acne, breast tenderness, bloating, etc didn't make me hopeful I was wrong.  As much as I really wanted a May baby to fit in the the middle of the TT's birthdays, I'm just going to move on and hope that it'll share it's birthday month with it's older brother.  :)

The other nice aspect of charting - I can see that my cycles are getting shorter now that the IUD is removed.  Which means that there won't be as much time waiting to O and then the 2WW on top of that.  I'm off to fill up my arsenal of OPK's for next month!  Thank goodness for TTC message boards where they share where to buy them cheapest (wow, feel a little like an addict after that statement).

Seriously?!  Who knew TTC could make every logical thought disappear?!

In the 30 minute commute home from work tonight, I managed to get aboard the crazy train and convince myself I should POAS.  I'm 11 DPO, if I would have stopped for a moment during the insanity, I'm sure I wouldn't have POAS and gotten the horrible feeling that comes with a BFN (even when you're expecting it).  Especially considering my "plan" was to POAS Saturday...heck, I guess Thursday is the new Saturday! lol

My chart has plateaued and I still feel that we're out this month.  If only all the other symptoms (breast pangs/soreness, horrid acne, acid reflux, constant peeing,...) wouldn't keep my mind playing games I could ease through this long cycle!

Mind Games

It's amazing how a person's mind can play such cruel games when they really want something!  I know I'm not the only person TTC who has a mind running in circles.  In fact, there's a whole message board of them over at WTE!  Unfortunately, my mind seems to be taking it up a level every day that passes.

For instance, I've gone pee every 45 minutes for the last 5 hours.  WTF?!  I do drink quite a bit of water during the day, but I have not been drinking that much!  So, here I sit, my mind is spinning like crazy with the "that could be a symptom" thoughts.

BUT for every ounce of optimism there is always pessimism... 

For instance, I've had no CM (the stuff that apparently really tells you your fertility) this month and therefore I'm firmly believing we did not conceive this cycle.  The lack of CM is actually making me thing there is going to be a problem TTC overall.  On top of that, if I did read the darn OPK's correctly - we didn't BD nearly enough OR at the right times around O.  Ugh...

Today's CD 31, 9 DPO (according to FF) and I'm going insane.  AF better show her ugly face soon so we can move on to the next month!  (BTW...I did POAS today - BFN...totally didn't help the mind games)

I've decided - I'm putting the OPK's down for awhile.  Going to continue to temp and watch CM, but I've had it with OPK's always being negative.

I'm pretty sure I already got a +OPK, but I really don't know because I have no egg-white consitency CM to go along with it.

Ugh...why does it have to be so frustrating?!

Meanwhile, I've been crampy for a few days...

According to my husband, I'm trying a little too hard to get pregnant this month...hmm.  I asked him if I should stop temping, charting, using OPK's, etc and he said no, but now I feel like I have to "hide" when I'm entering all the info because he doesn't quite "get" why I need to do it when we, obviously, didn't have any issues getting pregnant the first two times. (uff, sorry about the run-on sentence there)

Anyways, I kind of have to agree with him, but my problem is that I hate the "unknown."  I detest surprises, unless they're the really, really good ones.  If you ever throw me a surprise birthday party, I might curse at you - just saying! :P

Anyways, there's another problem that comes from doing all these things plus reading and getting to know all about my body.  I'm getting frustrated that my body isn't doing what I want it to or what a "normal" cycle would be doing. Today is CD 15 for me and well I haven't picked up a BFP on the OPK's yet and it's bumming me out!  On top of that, I'm temping and I haven't seen any kind of temp surge indicating ovulation yet.  :(

I also read that you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant every cycle - wow, that bummed me out too!  I think I'm going to try to stay away from letting my mind get the best of me and just enjoy TTC for the first time ever.  :)

OPK's

YAY!  AF was officially gone on Sunday - let's get this TTC train going!

I bought a box of OPK's at Target, their Up & Up brand to be exact, to try out our first month of TTC.  Obviously, I never used OPK's with my 2 previous pregnancies - they were both complete surprises.  The problem I'm facing with them though, is that my cycles have been much longer while I had my IUD than the norm of 28 days.  So, I'm having trouble deciphering when I should start POAS (peeing on a stick)... I only bought the 7 day test kit (there are 30 day kits out there).  The little phamplet inside tells me, per my average cycle length (35 days), I should start testing on CD (cycle day) 18.  For the average cycle length (of 28 days) it says to start on CD 11.  Want to guess when I started POAS?!  Yep, today, CD 11...I'm guessing I'll probably end up buying another box of the things to test for 2 weeks...gosh I sure hope I O (ovulate) in the next 7 days!  Then comes the dreaded TWW (two week wait) post O before I can POAS for a BFP!

Tired of the acronyms yet?  I know, there's a lot - hopefully soon I'll throw a little glossary to the right...

Wooo!!

AF (aunt flow...aka my period) came today!!  :)

I wasn't sure when to expect AF, so the fact that she showed  up only a couple days after I suspected is glorious!  My cycles had been quite a bit longer after I got the ParaGuard and this cycle was actually around 39 days!

This means we can officially get this TTC baby train moving!!  I'm so excited - if we get lucky our first month we'll have ourselves a late May baby!  I'm really trying not to get ahead of myself in thinking we'll get lucky the first month, but I sure can have hope!