Update!

Sorry I never got back to update after the last post.  I did hear back from the nurses about the spotting.  They didn’t have me come in, but I did get some more clarity on my last ultrasound.  There apparently is some placenta previa with local abruptions.  Not much I can do about any of this, but hope that it resolves itself as the baby grows.

Knowing this did give me a few new fears though.  Because what would motherhood be without a few more irrational fears?!  My biggest fear is the previa not correcting itself and then not having any option, but a cesarean delivery.  Then throw on top of that the concern of an early delivery, possibly causing a NICU stay for the baby.

Really though, I’m trying hard not to think of all the bad things and just taking each day more that the baby bakes as a blessing.

In other news, after almost a week of getting sick every.single.morning. I talked with the nurses at my OB office about my acid reflux and horrid gag reflex.  My voice was hoarse from throwing up just stomach acid.  I was to the point where it didn’t matter if I ate right away after getting up or waited – my body was determined to purge.

My OB did not want me to continue on this path – so they prescribed an anti-nausea medication to help while they looked into other options.  In addition, I’m taking Prilosec every day.   They are working with a GI specialist to get me through this and I will more than likely have to have a consult either during my pregnancy or after to make sure I’m not causing anymore lifelong damage.  The specialist did make a new recommendation – so I’ll be on Prilosec and liquid Maalox to combat the issue.  If it continues to get worse, then I’ll definitely be in to see them.

I have stopped getting sick every morning, but I’m still coughing from the acid and have a raspy voice.

On the bright side – I’m feeling lots of baby movement and tomorrow is the big anatomy (20 week) ultrasound!!  Wooo!!  Pending of course a crappy snow storm that wants to hit my area – they’re talking over a foot of snow.  Yuck!

Yet again...

I'm left in limbo of what my body is trying to do.  I started spotting again last night and it's still there today - thankfully brown spotting (which indicates old blood).  Still doesn't make me feel any better that it's happening though.  I'm sitting in fear that anytime I feel something, it's a gush of blood and the worst is happening.

I'm at work, should be getting stuff done, but can't seem to concentrate on anything.

I called my OB's office, but because it's just brown spotting, I'm sure they won't want me to come in any sooner.

When Cravings Turn Bad...

Tuesday I worked late and my plan was to go home (to my quiet house because the tornados were out with their dad) and just eat a sandwich and enjoy the quiet.  Well, my co-workers were chatting up about food before I left and Little Caesar’s came up.  I'm not a huge fan of their pizza, but there is something about their Crazy Bread!!  So, what happens when a pregnant girl talks about food?  She gets an immediate, must-have craving for it!!

I ran through the drive-through just as they were pulling fresh Crazy Bread out - if any of you out there are bread lovers like myself, you know how wonderful just out of the oven bread is!  Needless to say my goal of only eating a couple pieces turned into devouring the ENTIRE bag!  Oops!!

The rest of the night, all I felt was misery as my body tried to digest the lump of bread sitting in my stomach.

The next morning rolls around and I have my usual gag-reflex problems trying to brush my teeth in the shower (unfortunately, this is an almost every morning problem) and end up throwing up.  Ugh!  Who knew your body has that hard of time digesting bread because I'm pretty sure the disgusting-ness that came out was hardly digested from the night before AND to boot just as garlicky.

Pretty sure I won't have any cravings for Crazy Bread in the near future.  :(

Tomorrow is a new day...

Thank goodness each day starts anew!

I was suppose to have my follow-up appointment with my OB today for the bleeding I experienced last Saturday.  I shouldn't have felt so confident with myself and the traffic on the way down to my OB office (from my work to the other side of town) because just as I'm about to turn on the last 6 blocks to get there, I'm stopped by a train.  I had to sit in the turning lane and wait and wait and wait (trains are really long around here), so as I saw the end of the train and my light was still green, I pulled out so I could at least turn left on the street I wanted.  As I was waiting for the traffic to clear before I could turn, the light turns red and I watch this car (without it's signal on) make a right turn right in front of me - she was just following the traffic in front of her, oblivious that the light had turned (on her cell as well).  I had to wait for her before I could finish making my left hand turn and as I'm doing it this car that wants to come across the intersection (because her light is obviously green) starts blaring her horn at me.  So my choice, would have been to be just as oblivious as the lady making the right on red and hit her or let the other lady t-bone me...thankfully I was paying to attention and screamed back at her (because you know she heard me)!

The parking is always terrible at the clinic, but thankfully there was a spot for me to sneak into.  I'm practically running towards the clinic - cussing the whole time over being late and it taking me 30 minutes to get to my appointment.  I get up to the desk and the girl looks at me and goes - "we don't have anything set up for you today."  I immediately felt myself falling apart emotionally, but kept it together to tell her specifically who I talked to and when.  She looks over to the girl at the next desk as the one I spoke to and her face drops.  To top everything off, my OB was not in at all today and they thought it was best for me to see him and not just the nurse practitioner who was there.  Guess who has the first appointment of the day tomorrow?!  You guessed it, ME!  They better give me an ultrasound and some answers tomorrow!

I do feel horrible for my husband though, I called him as I was leaving the clinic.  I don't think he really heard anything audible, as I was sobbing.  I'm sure he thought the worst at the moment, but thankfully I was finally able to get out what happened to him.  These clinics really should know not to screw anything up with a hormonal and emotional pregnant women - ESPECIALLY one who has been experiencing bleeding!

Fetal Heart Doppler

I fell for the craze on the WTE boards and bought myself a fetal heart doppler.  I have no idea what I was catching when I used it the first few times (I'm guessing my own heart beat, even though it was reading pretty fast), but I found the baby well last night.  Right smack dab in the middle below my belly button (I thought it was kind of weird to find the baby waaaaay off on my left side when I tried before).  I think I could have sat and listened for hours and hours.  We definitely have an active baby, as I was listening I could hear the baby's movement hit the probe of the doppler.  Pretty sure every time I heard that, I giggled.  :)

I'm still feeling a lot of emotions towards the unknown of this pregnancy.  I know I don't want to spend the rest of the time afraid of everything I feel, but I can't shake it.  I'm even having a hard time justifying twinges and pinches as something normal like round ligament pain.  In addition, every time I feel something "leaking" below, I want to run to the bathroom to make sure I'm not bleeding again.

Really hopeful my OB can give me some reassurance tomorrow.  I will be fine if I can't, but it would also be awesome if he said I was fine to have caffeine again.  I was daydreaming of Caribou on my way to work today.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
Proverbs 16:9

Impatient.

My patience level seems to be pretty low lately.  Especially towards my first prenatal appointment - seriously, I've waited 6 weeks for this darn appointment and it still isn't here! 

Thankfully, my patience seems to only be low on all things that really don't matter much.  I have, so far, been able to keep my composure with the tiny tornadoes and my husband.  I do continue to have small, hormone induced, outbursts about stupidity at work on occasion (but really, who doesn't?!).

My point of this post though is in regards to this necklace.  I have been in LOVE with it since the day I saw it. 

A few months after I saw the necklace, I was pondering my next tattoo and it all starting coming together.  I've always known I wanted one on my foot, but didn't know what.  I decided because it would probably be my last tattoo, I wanted it to reflect my children somehow.  I had an epiphany one night after listening to one of my favorite songs, Three Little Birds by Bob Marley (Elizabeth Mitchell also does an awesome rendition).  That epiphany brought me to my tattoo idea and back to this necklace.  Making me desire both a little more! :)  The tattoo, has to wait for many obvious reasons.  I'm hoping to find someone to draw it up - I want 3 sparrows, in different colors, going up my foot with something tying them together.

I still REALLY want this necklace though.  So, when Vintage Pearl sends me emails with a discount, I want to scream because I can't go buy this necklace until we know the gender of the baby and have decided on a name.  My plan is to get a cross in the little circle and then (obviously) three birds on the oval part with all of the tiny tornado's names.  :)

Maybe if I buy myself a gift certificate, I'll feel better about the wait.  lol

PS...sorry for any rambling, my brain is all over the place lately (suppose the double shot mocha had this morning isn't helping either.

10 weeks today - 1/4 of the way done!  wooo!
wait, what?!  1/4 of the way done already - I'm scared! lol

Just 7 more days!!

Until my first appointment!!  Ahhh, I can hardly wait!

Unfortunately, all this waiting is causing the crazy hormones to mess with me and create irrational fears.

::sigh::

Hello 6 Weeks...

It's nice to meet you. So glad you brought your friend morning sickness with you!

Ugh...I was hoping I was lucky and going to stay that way regarding morning sickness. I've had a horrid cold since last week that just doesn't want to go away and then my good 'ol friend came around today.

I'm all for keeping my weight gain down, but I would prefer not to have to see anything I eat come back up.